On January 16, 2021 Barry Waxman left this world, although dementia had taken him long before.
If Barry were writing or editing this piece, he would be sure to detail all of his remarkable educational and professional achievements, which were many (three separate degrees from Harvard – A.B. cum laude in History and Literature from the College where he was affiliated with Eliot House and a member of the Harvard Class of 1960 after preparing at Central High School in Philadelphia where he was born on January 31, 1939; LL.B. cum laude ’63 and Ed.M.’92 !) --, as well as the various organizations of which he was a member. He was tremendously intelligent, committed, academic, well-read, and well-respected by his colleagues.
He believed those were the important details of his life. We think those achievements were great, but not his best works.
His wife, Elsa (married in 1960), was the love of his life and he loved telling the story of how he met her and swept her off her feet, cutting in repeatedly on another suitor at a college mixer, until Elsa finally whispered, "why do you keep letting him cut back in?". He loved his children. He read to them every night and invented elaborate stories for the youngsters about "The Adventures of Pearl and Furl"; he loved school and was never happier than when he chaperoned his kids on trips to visit colleges; he loved golf, especially with his family; … and the trips to Great Britain with his son, Michael, and grandson, Louis, were some of his happiest moments. Puns, he loved puns and all kinds of wordplay and clever silliness. He did not have a middle name "because [his] parents could not afford one". He loved non-sequiturs - "there were 16 men in a boat....and the oars started to leak". He loved books, musicals, jazz and classical music. He loved chewy candy, "the kind that puts up a good fight".
He did not like fish. He never tried lobster. "I don't eat anything that scuttles sideways or which reduced in size resembles an insect." It is not clear whether he knew what a tool was or how to hold or use one. He considered a remarkable number of things and situations dangerous, earning the nickname "TD" ("that's dangerous"). He capitulated to Elsa's love of animals, and even came home with a puppy on his own once. There was no one who cared more about fairness and truth than Barry.
He was a wonderful grandfather and made his grandkids laugh and feel special. He loved telling jokes, especially long-winded ones which required practice and memory. He was meticulous; he may have had a nail clipper on every set of keys and in every drawer of the house.
We laughed with him and at him … a lot. He was a big, loud, kind, outgoing personality. The world is a little smaller, quieter, and less fun without him.
Barry is survived by his wife, Elsa Joy (Finard) Waxman, of East Dummerston, VT, daughters; Amy, Eliza, Rebecca and son-in-law P.J. Hand, son Michael and daughter-in-law Kate Sabatine, surrogate daughter and son Kim and Rich Korson, and grandchildren Louis, Sam, Hannah, David, Addy, Taz, Ella and Oscar, and his sister Elaine Waxman.
Slightly modified of what was published in The Brattleboro Reformer (VT) on Jan. 21, 2021.
